Jamaican Till I Die!

In my previous blog I emphasized the need for Rules, Regulations, Policies and Procedures as a requirement for any system to operate properly. It is important that everyone understands the Rules, Regulations, Policies and Procedures and follows them, if the system is to realize its full potentials. However there is such a thing as having too much Rules, Regulations, Policies and Procedures, so much so that it retards the fluent operation of any system and introduces too much R ed Tape and Bureaucracy which also provides a platform for corruption to thrive. So, a healthy balance is required for optimal performance of every system. I have worked in companies that have in place too much Rules, Regulations, Policies and Procedures. They were way too conservative when it comes to change. We had a computer software code that was never touched, once it was released into production. No updates and patches were applied fearing it would break the system. One manager I worked ...

Sometime ago I worked for a financial company and one night at around 3 AM the operations department encountered a problem with one of the applications. They followed procedure and called the software developer on duty to investigate. He logged into the system and proceeded to analyze and debug the application. Sometime after he identified the cause of the problem but then decided to fix it in production. Even though there was a company wide rule that strictly forbids developers from making changes to production code, in the production environment, without the approval of upper management. The problem was relatively minor, so he fixed it and went back to bed. I am sure feeling very proud of himself, basking in his brilliance. Probably thinking, what would they do without him? By the time he came into work the next morning all hell was breaking loose and everyone was on the mother of all conference call. No one had time to be diplomatic about anything as they let the fucks fly fre...

We are a Dancehall DJ Country… Lots of Jamaicans grow up listening to dancehall DJ’s as they fluently spit out lyrics and rhymes. We are often amazed by their ability to ride the rhythm and captivate the audiences. This catapults them to fame and fortune, earning them much love and respect from the crowd. In my youth I have been to my share of dancehall venues and watched as people used their hands to beat the hell out of the zinc fences whenever the DJ said something that was lyrically wicked. The Political Class have long since learned that if you want to engage the Jamaican people then you must adopt a DJ like persona, the crowd expects nothing less or more. I would not be shocked if our Educated Political class were employing semi-literate Dancehall DJs as speech writers and voice coaches to train them in the linguistic art and mannerism of the Ghetto…. No longer is the Political class expected to use proper English when they address the electorate, no longer are they expecte...

Are we Ungovernable? "Unpoliceable"? There are a lot of Poor countries on planet earth, some poorer than my Jamaica, with a lot of poor people living their lives trying to make the best of what life throws at them. A lot of them do not adopt this level of violence and murder that we have here in Jamaica. So what makes Jamaica and Jamaicans so different…. Why is it that some Jamaicans find it so easy to murder their fellow Jamaicans, often times over rubbish? Are some of us Genetically Predispose to Psychopathic Primitive Behaviors? Jamaicans also export this psychopathic primitive behavior, to the point where some countries are forced created special police task to deal with the negative influence of Jamaicans in their society. It is the fear of being deported that keeps most in line with the countries laws but in Jamaica they fear nothing. The UK created several Yardie Task force to keep the bitches inline, the Americans also created the Posse Task force and so did Cana...

During my time at high school it was normal for us to get the occasional foreign student. These were mostly students of Jamaican Heritage, sent to Jamaica to live with relatives and get a solid Jamaican education and discipline. One of my best friend was also shipped out from England but he assimilated very quickly. I remember this one kid named Dennis who came to us from the United States of America. Dennis joined my class but it was obvious that Jamaica was completely foreign to him. His parents did a horrible job preparing him and he was having trouble assimilating into daily Jamaican school life. To tell the truth us kids did not make it easy for him either but hey we were boys in third form. One morning we were in class waiting for the next teacher to arrive and making loads of noise, chatting, laughing and sitting on the desk then from out of nowhere Sir (teacher) walked into the classroom and bellowed “Sit down and be quiet!” . Everyone was seated in a flash and quiet be...

By the time I was in third form Chinese Kung Fu movies became the craze of the land and every movie theatre used to show them, some movie theatres are however known only for their Kung Fu movies aka Kickkas like the State Cinema. My best friend’s mother used to work at the Regal Cinema in Cross Road and he would supply us with regular free tickets which made him the most popular, powerful boy in the class if not the school… However there was one boy in my class we used to call Nuts because he loved peanuts. I can count the amount of time on one hand I have seen Nuts not eating peanuts and even while in class during the lesson he would slowly sneak his one hand into his school bag, remove the nuts from the shell and eat them. The other thing Nuts loved more than peanuts was Kung Fu movies, he was hooked on them. So much so that he began to dress like a Shaolin monk after school. He was also very good at mimicking every Shaolin move and could recreate any movie scene with voice overs. ...

My first real hurricane was Gilbert, before that my sister and I would complain that the weather service was bogus, each time a hurricane was coming and everyone prepared, it almost always managed to miss us in the end. Part of us wanted to experience a hurricane and older people would tell us to stop saying stupid things and be careful what we wish for. Yes we experienced loads of bad weather, near misses and close shaves but never a direct hurricane, one for the history books. I had no idea hurricane Gilbert was coming or even existed because I was having way too much fun and the day before Gilbert was predicted to arrive, I was at home nursing a hangover. I had no clue until about 12 noon on September 11th when I woke up. I heard the weather report on the radio but quickly dismissed it as bogus weather report. The joke at the time was, if the weatherman said it was going to rain prepare for sunshine and head to the beach. Later that day I had an early dinner/lunch and went...